Final count down

Today is 10 days until I can begin down regulation. Today is the day the drugs finally arrived and today is the day I’ve found my stress levels to be at the highest 

For the past 2 days I’ve been struggling. I don’t know what it is. Nerves? Stress? Anxiety? Or maybe I’m just coming down with something?

I have a funny feeling in my tummy and chest. My heart is pounding and I have what some people may describe as butterflies, to me it feels like a storm at sea. I don’t know what it is, I’ve never felt like this for so long. Maybe before an interview or having to speak in front of a crowd, but 2 days of feeling like this is bringing me down. 

Today my drugs were delivered, I had to have them sent to my mums as I couldn’t be in all day. But, they are now filling my fridge and stored in a safe place from little hands. 

At the weekend we booked a holiday, a week away in late October for some (fingers crossed sunshine) 

I think it’s partly my way of admitting there’s a possibility (a big one) that this won’t work. So now I have something else to look forward to,to plan for and shop for. 


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