This week we had our review. Since the day it was arranged it’s all I’ve been able think about. I was convinced I knew what he was going to say ‘sorry! Nothing more we can do to help you’. I’ve spent all my free time researching new clinics, other procedures or tests we could have done and what might be causing our low fertilisation results.
The morning of our appointment I was so nervous I was almost sick.
Our consultant greeted us with a smile, sat us down and asked what our thoughts were. Hubby said we’d decided to give it one more go, I knew he wanted to do another cycle but I had no idea this is going to be our last. For a while I’m sure I held my breath, waiting for our consultant to reply. To my absolute shock he agreed we should try again, my meds will remain the same. The Drs had discussed an increase but between us we agreed that 19 eggs was a good number. He didn’t feel we needed to rush so to take our time and relax, he also agreed that if I want the scratch this time he is more than willing to do it. He didn’t feel the tonsillitis would have affected this past cycle, although I’m not worried about the antibiotics I still wonder if my body trying to fight the infection had an affect.
We also discussed my diet, it wasn’t great during the last cycle and I’ve made some positive changes towards this. He introduced me to a lifestyle app they are trialing and I have been accepted to trial the app it gives hints and tips to women who are trying to become pregnant, not specifically for those undergoing fertility treatment.
Although I felt relieved after the review I I’ve found it really difficult to get my PMA in gear. I’ve found getting over the recent failure much more difficult than I’d anticipated, in fact I think it’s hit me harder than any of the other unsuccessful cycles. Also, knowing this is our last chance I’m feeling so much pressure and analysing everything I do. I’m finding seeing and hearing about pregnancies really difficult again. I’m not sure I can do this again, but I know if I don’t we have zero chance of a sibling.
Our thoughts are to do a November/December cycle, so we are relaxed after our sunny holiday, but before the Christmas closure. Fingers crossed Mother Nature doesn’t have other ideas.