2dp 3dt

Despite my efforts to keep myself busy, I’ve still found time to dwell too much on what’s happening, or not happening. 

I’ve had terrible terrible cramps all day along with awful (tmi) diarrhea along with a full feeling in my belly making me want to wee all day. 

The clinic called with an update about the remaining embryos. 2 continued to grow, but didn’t make it into anything of good enough quality to freeze and the others just stopped growing. I think this was the start of all my negative feelings. 

We must be having such terrible results because I’m a bad Mum (not true)

I must be a bad person (I don’t think that’s true)

I don’t deserve to be lucky again (well of course I do) 

Then there the anger, I’m angry because there are parents who miss treat their children and those who fall pregnant again and again without even trying. 

But worst of all are the feelings of letting little p down. What do I tell him when he starts asking about siblings. He needs more family in his life,I just can’t bare the thought of him becoming lonely. 

We also have a house full of baby stuff we kept for our next one. So,what do I do with it? Selling it on would break my heart, another sign of my failure. I already can’t bare seeing it around the house. 


One thought on “2dp 3dt

  1. I’m sorry about all the negative thoughts. I also wonder why it’s so hard for some people and whether there is some reason behind it, or whether it’s all just random. Sorry about feeling crappy. Wonder whether it could be side effects from the progesterone?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s